That first part is rhetorical: of course you’re sick of Oprah, everyone is. She’s been around for, what is it, thirty years now? She’s not funny; can’t sing; and has the sort of banal/feelgood take on everything that you could get sitting around with your next door neighbor. On top of all this she gave us Obama. So let us know in a brief soundbite or two just what your problem is with this Great American Institution that won’t go away. Is it the pretense that she’s everywoman totally contradicted by the liberal politics? The up-&-down weight? Sick to death of hearing that She’s A Brilliant Businesswoman? Or maybe it’s just that you suspect she’s mostly all about nothing but that everyone’s afraid to say this because she’s black– you know, kind of an entertainment version of Obama? Anyway, loosen up, make it funny if you can, and check this space for the winner and other fun entries this coming Friday morning 1/28/11. YOU could be the one to hand us a laugh and win a free signed book, Diversity Lane/ A Liberal Family Saga!
Answers to be submitted here in the Comment section
Diversity Lane 
32 Comments
Why am I sick Of Oprah? Because I’ve had to put up with her ubiquitous presence ever since the fat woman in a mu-mu first showed up on local Chicago television back in the 1980s.
Magnificent proposal, Zack.
You already have your answer in graphics of course. Were I an artist, I would draw the images for you — Diversity’s picture on products of every kind. (Lefties are quite smart at this.)
There would be “Diversity’s Book Club.” (Shut it down now and again for extra publicity.) “Diversity Weight-Loss Plan.” (Pine your heart out Rachael… This is the Big Time now.) “Diversity’s Own Salad Dressing.”
I would draw “Diversity Automobile Floor Mats.” (Take a back seat, Betty Boop.)
We’ll need to put her picture on a fake People Magazine cover and another for Time.
OK, team. Get to work! We’re on a roll. (You’ve already got the bread angle covered above.)
Oprah may indeed be a brilliant business woman. But her “bombshell “ bids for attention and ratings are getting lame. She can’t come up with anything better than “discovering” a half sister out there? You were born to teenagers who never married and you are surprised that one of your parents grew up and had another child?
I’m tired of being told I’m a racist by a black woman that is a self made billionare.
I’m sick of all self-important blowhards on all ends of the political spectrum that insist on having their fifteen minutes…constantl…at the top of their lungs…at the same time…and call it “freedom of expression.”
Shut up if you can’t think in terms of anything but sound bites and the sound of your own voice.
because she is “related” to everyone in the world.
Plain and simple. I can’t stand Oprah’s “I am sooooo great!” attitude. She is the epitome and distillation of Liberal Smugness, with an army of worshipers surpassing even Obama’s.
You don’t share her views on women’s issues, Obama’s genius, Palin’s idiocy, or Jesus being a non-exclusive way to heaven? You must be an ignorant, horrid little bigot – please get off her show, on second thought stick around to be trash talked by her cronies in the audience and made forever a pariah in the eyes of her viewers.
OPRAH – to her it stand for ‘Only Person Really, Absolutely Holy’. To me, it stands for ‘Old, Passé, Really Annoying Hypocrite’.
How exactly did Oprah “give us” Obama? I think you could also credit…you know…the millions of people that voted for him. Oh, and his mother and father.
*countdown to birth certificate joke in 3..2…*
One of Oprah’s many annoying traits is her complete liberal bias unevenly balanced with urging Americans to spend like her golden boy Obama actually fixed the economy. “You, too, can purchase a semblance of happiness!” seems to be her motto as she pushes $50 candles and attaches her name to as many products as possible because if you can buy it, she’ll endorse it. Oh, but let’s all pretend we’re socialists. Spread the wealth – it’s under your chair in her studio audience.
Also, public masturbation is pretty well frowned upon, but somehow if you’re Oprah, it’s okay. Just look at her ego-stroking publication “O – The Oprah Magazine” and her new network dedicated entirely to forcing all 400 pounds of her into your house and trying to produce brain-dead zombies. I already get MTV I don’t want; I don’t need Oprah stroking her… ego in my house, too.
And don’t get me started on her crying about her special “we’re not lesbians” friendship in that most recent interview…
Zack,
Good thing you portrayed that loaf as being of a diverse–uh, I mean–multi-grain type.
Max: That’s racist. It should be “Grains of Color.”
…
I hate the fact that i can’t buy a gallon of milk without staring at Oprah’s magazine while i wait in line.
But, ya’ know… other than that i do a pretty good job avoiding the woman.
Oprah? Seriously? Of all the infinitely more relevant and threatening people on the far left in both politics and entertainment, you’ve decided to take a shot at Oprah? Talk about low-hanging fruit, this is just embarrassing. Maybe next we can discuss how we’re fed up with Garrison Keillor or Barry Manilow.
I am neither sick of Oprah, nor am I amazed. She is widely popular in the United States for a very good reason – she reflects accurately the mores of plebeian Americans and idle Americans. She is merely a cynosure. What I AM sick about is the degradation of American Society to such an extent that I often feel like a naked man huddling behind a rock in a hurricane.
Ed you must be joking; as the Most Admired Person in America or something like that for decades now she has incalculable influence on millons of people, including voters. Her nod can and does transform a book from permanent annonymity to a top ten bestseller. Whaddya think that kind of clout could do for a presidential candidate who receives her endorsement? I think we all just found out. Since underpinning her philopsophy is a kind of sloppy all-encompassing New Age-y Niceness with little time for depth, she helped significantly in ushering in a candidate with many of these same shallow qualities… albeit he comes with far worse baggage in tow.
Plus she’s fat!
@ Galooty – you are spot-on accurate. Oprah is also a symptom is how dim-witted and mentally pliable a segment of our population has become. Imagine our grandmothers seeing a few minutes of this pulp – what they would say to their daughters for watching it?
Rush has an expression; “…the Oprah-ization of America” – in simple terms, millions of women who are mental & emotional lemmings. Very sad~
Ed: NOW you’re talkin’!
Wow. Will you all LISTEN to yourselves?
The O daily dishes a plethora of ‘spiritual’ nonsense: Oprah’s Smorgasbord. Small wonder she battles her weight. Too much cotton-candy nothin’!
I am sick of Oprah because she has a God complex. I’d like to see someone else on the cover of that magazine of hers for at least ONE month for crying out loud! She thinks the sun rises and sets on her. *gag*
Oprah climbed her way to the top in exactly the way conservatives say everyone *should* climb their way to the top—-through initiative, hard work and good business sense. And for that, she gets “She’s only successful because she’s black.”
If that’s really how you want to see it, of course it’s your prerogative. But you can’t nod your heads to statements like that and then wonder why conservatives have trouble reaching minorities.
I am sick of Oprah because she is everywhere. It would be easier to escape from a maximum security prison than from the presence of Oprah. A convict who escapes from prison must constantly look over his shoulder lest he be taken by surprise by a policeman who can return him to his dank, dark cell. Yet, even as he looks over his shoulder, there are times when he does NOT see a person waiting to imprison him once again. Such is not the case with a person wishing to escape the pervasive presence of Oprah. Wherever he turns, there she is. On TV, in the supermarket, on the campaign trail, in one’s worst nightmares. We live in the dank dark prison that is the Oprah-rization of America and, because we made the mistake of sitting in her audience the day she hosted Dr. Oz, she is giving us all a free enema. It seems only too appropriate…
The unwashed masses are sick of Oprah because they are racist, sexist, violent, gun-carrying redneck Tea Partiers out to lynch all colored folk who get ‘uppity’.
– Submission by Totally-Not-Oprah
Did I say Tea Partiers? I meant Tea Baggers, you disgusting lower class mob. By the way, catch my new All Oprah, All the Time channel!
– Submission by Totally-Not-Oprah-Again
What’s your point here, Marbles? There is a vast difference between the written word and the spoken word. Nobody here has “said” anything. Consequently nobody here can LISTEN to themselves. The job of the written word is to stay put on the page so that anyone can review it at anytime and reflect on the logic – if any – therein. The spoken word is much more problematic. People who listen to speech must process it on the fly since there is inevitably more to come – a steady stream of verbage in many cases. And since the MEANING of the spoken word is influenced and even changed by inflection, sighs, purbles, and other dramatic devices
so that simply writing down speech does not convey the same meaning. When one is a great orator and speaks inanities, he disorders the thinking of all within earshot.
I got “sick of Oprah” the day she declared…
“It’s Obamatime!”
Supreme:
Nice job. Next stop, Deflection Gulch.
I’m sick of Oprah because she barters in the insipid on a global scale. While this field was pioneered by Phil Donahue, Oprah has transformed it into an industry. Truly, millions of people have been transformed into sleepwalking zombies to join her inane parade.
With faux graciousness she makes her host of followers feel elevated, when, in fact, she’s simply providing a convenient stupor. No more do they need Valium to cope with the complexities of life, Oprah has put them at childlike ease – causing the rest of us to contemplate the need for Prozac.
I’m sick of Oprah because she promotes emotion over reason.
I don’t want to hear about peoples feelings about things. I may want to here about their thoughts about things.
Let’s have for rational debates over why a policy is good or bad, including what it will cost. Let’s not have emotional appeals, even when they’re emotions I agree with.
The instant I hear THAT voice coming from the TV I run to change channels. Recently, I watched tapes of her show back when she was human. The sad thing is: what else would she do, if not for her show? Acting is out, as is everything else. For an intelligent woman, does she not understand the concept of overexposure? We loved Johnny Carson. He had the sense to go before we changed channels to get rid of him.